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My birthday is in 3 weeks. Neither of my 2 “bffs” from college have reached out to me at all. It’s been 5 or 6 months now. Glad our years of friendship meant nothing to them. Also thrilled that I wasted vacation days on a wedding for one of them and that the 2 of them pretended to be my friends that day but then proceeded to want nothing to do with me after that.

Cowards. They don’t even have the courage to tell me they don’t want to be friends. At least have the decency to admit to me you no longer want us to be involved in each others’ lives. I can respect that if they can get the balls to do so.

Right now I pretty much have 2 friends that I actually see and talk to on a regular basis: my boyfriend and 1 girlfriend I’ve known for a long time. I work too much to go out and meet people. 16 hour days, working out, volunteering, and running errands consume all my time on top of trying to maintain the life I share with my partner. I can’t even be more involved with the shelter I volunteer for because my work life balance wouldn’t allow me to foster a cat. I cannot even give my own “kids” the attention they need. And let me tell you, I have a VERY needy cat. A cat who has been abandoned and needs his cat mom there for him.

With that being said. It’s time to focus on me and getting myself out of this state, into a job I can tolerate, and doing whatever I want so long as it makes my partner and I happy.

Tonight my hair is getting cut, shaved, and dyed. From then on out things need to be better. In order to do so I need to just accept that my friendship with these 2 people is over. And it was on their terms. They didn’t reach out to me and have ignored my attempts to make contact. So this is me letting go and realizing they don’t give a shit about me even though I would have done anything in the world for them.

Loyalty is dead.

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It’s our 2 year anniversary! Oh man, butterflies in my stomach like when we first got together! Feeling like a teenager in love!

So glad I can still feel this way after all we’ve been through.

We’re stronger than ever.

<3

Will someone please explain the weight gain here?

I gained 3 lbs yesterday and 2 lbs today. How? I’ve been to the gym THREE DAYS IN A ROW going SO hard at the treadmill, bike, and elliptical.

Tuesday March 24th, 2014:
Pre-workout: 217 lbs
Post-workout: 216 lbs

Wednesday March 25th, 2014:
Pre-workout: 218 lbs
Post-workout: 217 lbs

WTF DUDE?? 1 to 1.5 hours at the gym per day and that’s what I get? So frustrating.

On top of feeling like absolute crap for 4 days. Nausea, dizziness, no sleep, and stress.

Went to the gym last night.

June 22nd, 2014:

215 lbs.

Whatever.



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